Life is not a snapshot...

Josh Wilson released an album a couple of weeks ago "Life is not a Snapshot," it only has seven songs on it, but it didn't need many more. About three of those seven had some implications for my life tied up in them, either in conviction or comfort.

Without getting too crazy deep, I wanted to share "Right in Front of Me" with you. It was particularly meaningful to me because I had a struggle with doubt this summer that really shook me up. It started with me reading some evidence based books to help me strengthen myself and my knowledge base to help my dad understand why I believe what I believe. In the midst I found myself curious why I believe what I believe. I didn't doubt God's existence, but I couldn't explain HOW He existed. My brain likes to understand how and why something happens, what makes it work, what makes it real. I remember one pretty desperate prayer when I begged to know and just be confident, to not just satisfy my doubts for them to only resurface later, I wanted to rectify them and be done with them.

I had been reading a book about that time that had a chapter about doubts, the author touched on the idea that most people experience a period (or many) of doubt, but the key is - can you believe and have faith in the face of those doubts? I realized that in the process of searching for evidence, asking for something I could see, touch, taste, smell and know was real...that's exactly what He gave us.

This song articulates the things I realized in that week of searching and praying better than I've been able to! I've tried about three times to explain it here but can't do it without being corny or too much...so I'm just going to share the song :) I love the idea that the evidence we need is right in front of us. That is the evidence I came to appreciate - the stuff we CAN see, touch, taste, and smell really is all we need. If you find yourself doubting or confused..take a second to stop and let your senses overwhelm you with the evidence.

Some say we’ve all been searching for a God for years in vain
And some say belief is just the easy way around our pain
And sometimes I’d like to agree when they’re telling me that this is all an accident
Cause it’s hard to let this heart believe when my mind is screaming out I need more evidence

But do I really need more evidence?
I want a miracle, something impossible
So would you help me to believe?
When You say everything that’s right in front of me,
Is all the proof I’ll ever need

I hear it in the winter wind that blows, the icy snow against my skin
And I see it in that summer sun that rises high and then burns out again
And I feel it in my chest in the quiet moments that I trust in what You say

Would you help me trust in what You say?
Maybe this is what it means to question You and still believe
To search and still be satisfied, to know and yet to wonder why
To put my faith things I doubt, to love what I can’t figure out
Maybe this is what it means

To want a miracle, something impossible
But have the faith to still believe
When You say everything that’s right in front of me,
Is all the proof I’ll ever need
Don’t need a miracle, something impossible
That makes You easy to believe
When You say everything that’s right in front of me
Is all the proof I’ll ever need
You’re all the proof I’ll ever need
So would you help me to believe

So obviously one of week of praying and searching didn't cure every question I ever had, but the things I learned during that time give me the faith to believe even when I don't understand, to allow myself to study my questions and search for understanding - without losing faith.

Peace and Blessings :)