Less than a month

Until I leave for Africa!!

Preparations are underway..you know - LONG shopping lists, longer to do lists, and lists you have yet to make...all of which seem to grow instead of shrink. By the minute, I might add. But the good news is...I'm SUPER excited! Zero nerves...as of yet :) Those of you who know me, are probably thinking the same thing I am...any day...any day!

It has been a week of revelations for me. The message this Sunday was about integrity, something I have been thinking about and battling with since football ended in November. I don't know if I've ever wanted anything more than to be able to gain control of my emotions and myself in a way that will allow me to be consistent from the inside out and love people consistently across the board...but I think gaining control is going to be losing control. I think sometimes I get so caught up in trying to master this and become who I want to be...I forget to let God in and let Him do the work in me He wants to...to make me the person HE wants me to be. So, my goal right now is #5 from this week's message "DO sweat the small stuff." I'm trying to pay the best attention I can to the tiniest decisions I make, and evaluate how they reflect on my integrity.

I'm sickingly happy right now. I am about as content with where I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm going as I've ever been. I'm excited about this fall and then ministry opportunities it is going to bring with it...I wish I would have realized the opportunities for ministry I have built in to my job a long time ago.

I'm going to make an effort at being productive this afternoon, so maybe I can leave early and even with a sense of accomplishment :)

Peace and Blessings All :)

Legacy...

Buddy started a new sermon series today about leaving a legacy, I think he timed it with Mother's Day on purpose :)

One of the illustrations he used was of three men arguing over the most accurate translation of the Bible.  In the midst of the argument one guy said, my favorite translation of the Bible is the one my mother did.  Obviously the other guys were a little confused, and he explained that no, his mother did not know Greek or Hebrew, but she translated scripture to the world around her by living it out in her life every day.  That is the kind of legacy I want to live...

Something's Got to Change...

I sat down at the computer this morning intent on trying to articulate some of the issues that have been filling my head up but I wasn't sure where to start or how to get it to make sense outside of my head. I started filling up a new playlist on Playlist.com with some Christian songs, to replace the sappy love songs that were only fueling my problems, and I came across this song - "Something's Got to Change" by Josh Wilson and it kind of expressed what I'm trying to overcome. So instead of trying to explain it all right now..I'm going to share the lyrics with you!

I'm also reading "Crazy Love" and realizing more and more how self-centered my life is and it's crazy to realize how the majority of my thoughts each day are focused on...well..me...sad huh?

So here's the song..and once I get more skilled at navigating this blogging stuff - I'll try and put the song here too



I'm thirsty, God, I'm thirsty
From drinking what destroys me
I'm pouring poison in my cup



I'm hungry, God, I'm hungry
Consuming what controls me
Somehow it never fills me up



We all want to find something to pass the time
But that could never be enough
Everybody says we're all so different
But everybody knows we're all the same
We're all trying to find a pill to numb the pain
Something's got to change

Do you remember when you had so much hope within you
It lingers deep inside you still



The more of us we swallow
The more we become hollow
Until we don't know how to feel



We all want to find something to satisfy
But we could never be enough
When everything we say and take just leads to war and hate
We only pass the blame, sedate the pain, and move along
But something feels so wrong, so deep inside, so hard to hide
So desperately we try and try, and come to find that we are not what we've been looking for



I can't believe I'm hearing people say that all is well
I think it's time we all admit we have no good within ourselves'
Cause we are not okay, we're not alright, and we need to pray for help
Forgive us for our pride, Oh God, Oh God, please save us from ourselves