Quiet Time and Revelations

So it turns out when I take Dramamene I can read on the bus! Who knew?! I also discovered the awesomeness that is the Podcast. I didn't discover this awesomeness until it was too late to download them however...so I could only listen when we were in good coverage and I could stream them from my phone. Anyway, an Andy Stanley podcast prompted me to see if I could do a little reading...which it turns out...I could!

So the podcast was titled Defining Moments, and this particular lesson (1 0f 9) centered on understanding the truth about God, that we can't just make Him who we want Him to be. That when we refused to see the truth about who God is, we live in the consequences of our thoughts. He also pointed out, that the only way to know the truth about God is to look to the example Jesus set. So I set out in my reading of Luke on the bus Friday afternoon to try and really look at how Jesus interacted with people, who He was, what kind of glimpse that gave me of the character of God. Turns out...Jesus was approachable, patient, gentle, and willing to listen to anyone...even in a crowd of lots of people - like the blind man in Luke 18. He did not say, "no I'm busy, all these people need me and want something from me..you'll have to come back later." No, He stopped...He STOPPED what He was doing, asked for the man to be brought to Him, and he He healed him. So if I'm trying to be more like Jesus, if I'm trying to be a glimpse of Jesus to a group of young men who might not have another chance to see Him...should I not work harder at being APPROACHABLE and willing to listen even when I'm busy? So often, I get so caught up in how busy I am, that their needs and questions become more of a hastle than a ministry. I'm selfish...so how do I become more selfless and approachable, like Jesus?

I moved on to the Psalms. One of the Psalms I read was Psalm 37. Words like trust, commit, be still, and WAIT...seemed to jump off the page all over the place. There are certain things I really want out of life, and God knows these things, He is perfectly aware of the desires of my heart...what I need to do is learn to WAIT, to BE STILL, to TRUST, to COMMIT myself to Him and His way...and this same Psalm offers this promise: "...delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." 37:4. Who knows my heart better? Who knows what I want better? Who knows what I need better? There's not another answer, only God knows those things and He knows them better than even I do.

So now to put it together..in order to be more like Jesus and be more approachable, patient, gentle, kind, and willing to listen...I have to learn to be less selfish. To be less selfish, I have to learn to turn over the desires of my heart to my God and trust their fulfillment to Him. If I spend my time trying to fulfill them myself, there's no time left to become who He wants me to become. Easy to say I know...not so easy to do. I tried to leave a lot of things to Him a week ago and came back for them not long after. My prayer is to learn and develop the confidence and trust in God it requires to really leave my needs, wants, and desires to Him, to allow me the time and energy to become more like Him and more like who He wants me to be.

So Friday's quiet time led to some awesome revelations, some freedom, and some new things to work on. The grip that some of my wants and hopes had on me started to losen up yesterday and were replaced by a sense of freedom that could only be granted by God and I'm trying to stay here, BE STILL, and wait in this freedom and let Him take control.

Peace and Blessings

ashley :)